Memory Loss in Death

Why don't we remember our past lives? Answering this question is one of the lesser-appreciated hurdles to integrating reincarnation into Christianity. Many, of course, credit this memory loss to God's magnificent mercy, but I have long wondered if this view isn't just a case of 'sour grapes' - rationalizing that since we can't seem to get our hands on these memories anyway, they probably weren't any good for us to begin with.

This "God's Mercy" explanation, of course, does presume the existence of, and give credit to, a good and beneficent Creator, and so it does seem, at first glance anyway, to have the advantage of making us feel good, secure in this apparent evidence that God is up there in His heaven, on the job protecting us from troubles we can't even perceive.

But doesn't this explanation also rest on an underlying assumption that life is more bad than good, that life is more pain than pleasure, that our memories of our past lives would hold far more grief than joy? Such an assumption would seem to have much more in common with Buddhism (whose "First Noble Truth" is that "life is suffering") than with the revealed message of the Bible (which started out by saying in Genesis 1:31 that "God saw all that He had made, and it was very good").

Fortunately, we are not the first Christians to confront this hurdle. Way back at the dawn of Christianity, in the 1st and 2nd centuries, one branch of believers -the Gnostics - did include the belief in reincarnation, and so today we can explore how they dealt with this hurdle. Did they believe that it was good and desirable to be alienated from one's own past life memories, to repeatedly lose all one's hard work and accomplishments life after life? Well, they certainly recognized that most people travel vainly through lifetime after lifetime, making no progress, continually losing all their previous selves and souls. And the following passages certainly seem to paint this loss in a negative light:

Jesus said, "The Kingdom of the Father is like a certain

woman who was carrying a jar full of meal. While she

was walking on a road, still some distance from home,

the handle of the jar broke and the meal emptied out

behind her on the road. She did not realize it;

she had noticed no accident.

When she reached her house,

she set down the jar and found it empty."

- The Gospel of Thomas 97

An ass which turns a millstone did a hundred miles

walking. When it was loosed it found that it was still

in the same place. There are men who make many

journeys [lifetimes], but make no progress towards

a destination. When evening [death] came upon them,

they saw neither city nor village, neither creation

nor nature, power nor angel [they were in the

isolation of the soul's afterlife]. In vain have the

poor wretches labored.

- The Gospel of Philip 63:11-21

Some scriptures written by these early Christians suggest that they believed that their old past-life selves, their previous souls from former lives, still existed somewhere within them, and that they struggled valiantly to recover these lost pieces of their beings :

Does not that which is yours exist within you?

Yet, while you are in this world, what is it

that you lack? This is what you have

been making every effort to learn.

- The Treatise on Resurrection 47:12-16

Some passages seem to suggest that the Gnostic Christians not only believed that memory loss of previous lives was an undesirable condition, but even went so far as to declare that these memories had to be retrieved at all costs, that they absolutely had to achieve a reunion of consciousness with all their previous souls before they could ever hope to enter the "Kingdom of Heaven":

[Jesus said] You who have joined the perfect, the light

[consciousness] with the Holy Spirit, unite the angels

with us also, the images [one's previous souls].

Do not despise the lamb [the newborn soul, which is slaughtered

at death], for without it, it is not possible to go in to

see the King [God]. No one will be able to go in to the

King if he is naked [if he is not `clothed' with all his own

past life souls].

- The Gospel of Philip 58:11-17

Again and again, the scriptures of early Christianity condemn the state of inner division, of being separated from parts of one's own self, of having pieces of ourselves missing, and implore us to avoid division, and reunite those parts of ourselves that have already become divided, so that we can once again become whole and complete:

And the God of peace himself sanctify you wholly;

and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved entire.

- 1 Thessalonians 5:23

Be ye therefore whole and complete,

even as your Father in heaven is whole and complete.

- Matthew 5:48

[Jesus said], "Verily I say unto you, no one will ever

enter the kingdom of heaven at my bidding, but only

because you yourselves are full. ...therefore I say to

you, become full and leave no space within you empty."

- The Apocryphon of James 2:28-33; 3:34-37

Some passages in the scriptures of the early Gnostic Christians seem to suggest an entirely different conception of the whole idea of "resurrection", suggesting that the early Christians saw resurrection as reawakening, bringing back to life, as it were, one's own past-life memories:

Then, if one has knowledge [gnosis], he receives what

are his own and draws them to himself ... consuming

... death by life.... Raise up those who wish to rise,

and awaken those who sleep.

- The Gospel of Truth 21:11-15; 25:15-19; 33:6-8

Light the light within you. Do not extinguish it.

RAISE YOUR DEAD WHO HAVE DIED,

FOR THEY HAVE LIVED AND DIED FOR YOU.

Give them life. They shall live again. Knock upon

yourself as upon a door,

and walk upon yourself as upon a straight road.

- The Teachings of Silvanius 107:14-33

They did seem to realize that those past-life memories would contain much grief, which would make sense, since everyone who goes through life in a state of inner division and self-alienation must experience much grief. Reawakening those memories, of course, would require one to confront and finally release and experience all that repressed grief :

If he is undivided, he will be filled with light,

but if he is divided, he will be filled with darkness

... When you see your likeness [your own soul],

you rejoice. But when you see your images

[your previous souls] which came into being

before you, and which neither die nor become

manifest, how much you will have to bear!

- The Gospel of Thomas 61 & 84

Such a process, of discovering all one's past life selves, would inevitably be simultaneously heavenly and hellish. It would seem "heavenly", of course, simply because one would finally get to see, finally get to KNOW, that there really was life after death, that in fact one had already lived many lives in the past and survived death many times, that, in fact, one possesses eternal life. But this discovery, this process, would simultaneously seem "hellish", because reawakening and reintegrating all those memories would require one to finally experience and release all the unexpressed grief of all those past lives. When one first encountered these past-life memories, the implications would seem delightful beyond all one's wildest hopes; but when one then also started fully experiencing all the grief and sorrow of all those past lifetimes, having all that pain flood in at once, all the memories of centuries of loss and abandonment and futility and injustice, one would be gripped by an intense bitterness so deep as to most likely be inconceivable to any who has not gone through it themselves:

And the voice which I heard from heaven,

I heard it again speaking with me, and saying,

Go, take the book which is open in the hand

of the angel that standeth

upon the sea and upon the earth.

And I went unto the angel,

saying unto him that he should give me the little book.

And he saith unto me,

Take it, and eat it up;

and it shall make thy belly bitter,

but in thy mouth it shall be sweet as honey.

And I took the little book out of the angel's hand,

and ate it up;

and it was in my mouth sweet as honey:

and when I had eaten it, my belly was made bitter.

- Revelation 10:8-10

Ezekiel described a similar mystical experience in which he saw the Glory of God directly, face-to-face. After informing Ezekiel that he would become a prophet, God made him do something that no other prophet had ever been asked to do before: God gave Ezekiel a scroll which had "words of lament and mourning and woe" written on both sides, and said, "Son of Man, eat what is before you, eat this scroll." Ezekiel did, commenting that the scroll tasted "sweet as honey" while in his mouth, but after he had swallowed it, he was filled with bitterness, and his `spirit' was angered. The whole mystical experience was so intense and moving, the scripture reports, that it left him dumbfounded and overwhelmed for seven days; only after recovering from this staggering experience was he able to begin his prophetic ministry for Israel.

What an extraordinarily odd episode this seems to be! Although this `eating-of-the-scroll' event is often assumed to be when God gave Ezekiel the words for His prophecies, this interpretation would appear to be mistaken, since it was much later in the book when God specifically issued Ezekiel the words of His prophecies. So what was that "scroll" with the "words of lament" on it?

A similar event is described in Revelation 10, when Saint John also "saw God", and he also was given a scroll to eat, being told as well that it would be as sweet as honey in his mouth, but it would turn his stomach sour, which, as John reported, proved again to be the case. And only after he ate his scroll, just like Ezekiel, was John allowed to prophesy.

What are these scrolls, and what do they represent? The scriptures don't tell us directly, but Division Theory does suggest an intriguing hypothesis. A scroll, of course, is a long book that rolls out its story endlessly and without discontinuities. Every part of its story flows directly into the next, unlike a bound book, in which each leaf is separated from the next. A scroll such as this would be an excellent symbol for the actual eternal life of a person, continuing throughout the ages, continuing through time with no breaks or pauses. The words written on both sides, "words of mourning, lament and woe", could represent, on one side, the objective history of the person, including a record of all the sins they committed throughout time, and on the other side, all the subjective soul-pain those sins had accumulated over the centuries. These words are separated into two parts, written on both sides, just as the soul and the spirit are also separated by a person's refusal to face the soul's painful reaction to his sin. Just as the writing on the two sides of a scroll would be separated by the paper of the scroll, so the soul and the spirit are also separated by the "Wall" created by sin. Consuming the scroll, then, could be a metaphor for accepting and reabsorbing all the memories and the pain of sin that one had avoided in the past. Similarly, the person's stomach turning bitter could be a metaphor for internally reintegrating those unpleasant feelings.

Eating these scrolls, then, may represent nothing less than the full reunion of soul and spirit, reabsorbing and reintegrating all one's past lives, with all their history and soul-pain. When Ezekiel first ate his own scroll, he reported that it tasted "as sweet as honey in his mouth", yet after this experience, he went "in bitterness" and with "anger in [his] spirit". Such reactions would make perfect sense; as one first reunited with his past personal-souls, discovering the unimaginable richness of his long history and past lives, discovering he possessed eternal life, at first it would seem a great delight, `sweet as honey in the mouth'. However, as more and more of the forgotten soul-pain of all those lives was reabsorbed and consciously experienced, it would likely make one feel extremely bitter and angry inside.

When Ezekiel ate his scroll, his spirit was angered; like everybody else, he had been used to having the option of avoiding all that pain.

Ezekiel was made whole. His spirit and soul were reunited.

And he was called "Son of Man".

In the long-lost early Christian scriptures recently rediscovered in Nag Hammadi, Egypt, it is also suggested that unification of soul and spirit is the key to the mysterious designation "Son of Man":

When you make the two one, you will become the sons of man.

- The Gospel of Thomas

The early Gnostic Christians seem to have realized that identity and memory are intimately related. If we could regain access to all our past life memories and reintegrate them into our conscious awareness, we would, in effect, "re-become" those past selves :

...You saw the spirit ... you became spirit.

You saw Christ, you became Christ.

You saw the Father, you shall become Father

... you see yourself, and what you see you shall become.

- The Gospel of Philip 61:27-35

The early Gnostic Christians seem to have felt that reawakening those past memories was key to salvation, while allowing them to remain hidden within themselves, allowing them to continue to fester beneath the surface, would be toxic:

Jesus said, "Blessed are they who have been persecuted

within themselves [feeling the pain within their own souls].

It is they who have truly come to know the Father....

That which you have will save you if you bring it forth

from yourselves. That which you do not have within you

[that which you remain unconscious of] will kill you

if you do not have it within you ... Every female

[unconscious personal soul] who will make herself

male [conscious] will enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

- The Gospel of Thomas 69,70,114

They do not seem to have thought that it was wrong or forbidden to seek out the souls of one's own dead past-life selves (like Past-Life Regression subjects attempt to do today). On the contrary, they seem to have openly encouraged each other to seek out the dead, and raise them back to life:

The Lord...said, `Verily I say unto you, none will be

saved unless they believe in my cross. But those who

have believed in my cross, theirs is the kingdom of God.

Therefore become seekers for death, like the dead

who seek for life, for that which they seek is revealed to

them.... none of those who fear death will be saved;

for the kingdom of death belongs to those

who put themselves to death.

- The Apocryphon of James 6:1-18

Then, if one has knowledge [gnosis], he receives what

are his own and draws them to himself ... consuming

... death by life.... Raise up those who wish to rise,

and awaken those who sleep.

- The Gospel of Truth 21:11-15; 25:15-19; 33:6-8

Light the light within you. Do not extinguish it.

RAISE YOUR DEAD WHO HAVE DIED,

FOR THEY HAVE LIVED AND DIED FOR YOU.

Give them life. They shall live again. Knock upon

yourself as upon a door,

and walk upon yourself as upon a straight road.

- The Teachings of Silvanius 107:14-33

The state of inner division seems to have been "the ultimate enemy" for these early Christians. Again and again, we find the gnostic scriptures condemn division, and preach for the restoration of wholeness and the elimination of all states of inner division:

Jesus said to them, "When you make the two one,

and when you make the inside like the outside,

and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below,

and when you make the male and the female

one and the same, so that the male not be male

nor the female ... then you will enter the Kingdom."

- The Gospel of Thomas 22

Once that state of inner division has been repaired, the Gnostics seem to have believed, one would then be able to reincarnate again and again through the centuries, without ever losing their memories again. The Gnostics seem to have believed that reincarnating while retaining memories is vastly preferable to losing memories from one life to the next:

The heavenly man has many more sons than the earthly man.

If the sons of Adam are many, although they die, how much

more the sons of the perfect man, they who do not die but

are always begotten. The father makes a son, and the son

does not have the power to make a son. For he who has

been begotten has not the power to beget, but the son gets

brothers for himself, not sons [when one reincarnates and

remembers, the new incarnation is recognized as a fellow

self (brother-brother relationship), not as an earlier

generation (father- son relationship)].

- The Gospel of Philip 58:17-26

One would never again lose one's sense of identity; one would thereafter forever possess one's memories, the knowledge of who one had been and what one had done and experienced and learned:

To them I will give within my temple and its walls

a memorial and A NAME BETTER THAN SONS

AND DAUGHTERS [better than unknowingly

reincarnating as subsequent generations

of separate individuals]; I will give them

AN EVERLASTING NAME [a remembrance

of their same identity throughout all time,

reincarnating into subsequent generations

as the same individual].

- Isaiah 56:5

After achieving this restoration, all one's memories, all one's hard-won skills and accomplishments, and the full long and winding road of one's past history, could thereafter never be taken from one again. One would then rest securely beneath them. No longer would there be any death of personality, but instead, when people's bodies wore out, they could discard them and instantly reincarnate into new bodies, maintaining full awareness of their past histories and identities:

Every man will sit under his own vine

[the long string of his own past history]

and under his own fig tree

[his own past personal-souls and identities]

and no one will make them afraid....

- Micah 4:4







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